How to get heard

Last Updated on Wednesday, 07 April 2010 12:56

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The relationships you have with your family, friends, workmates and girlfriends or boyfriends are always changing. The most obvious reason for this is that you're all changing, all the time.

Gemma Baldock youth art 'We're just like you'

Think about your relationship with your family. Remember when you used to go everywhere with them? And when the coolest thing to do was hang out in McDonalds Playland?

As you get older, the changes aren't always as obvious, but they're still there. The things that make you an individual - your tastes, your ideas, your background, your plans - are also the things that make you form relationships with people. And because they're all changing as much as you, the whole relationship thing gets pretty complicated.

Your family affect your feelings a lot because you spend a lot of time with them. Some days you may be having a bad day and be in a bad mood, other days one of them may be feeling that way.

It's hard to talk to parents or other adults about really personal things, e.g. sex, drugs, trouble with police, bad reports, bullying, feeling bad about yourself, violence.

Here's some suggestions from other young people about ways of talking to their parents that have worked for them and why things haven't worked:

'Work your way into it. Start out by talking about something else and just work it into the conversation.'

'Depends on their mood and what they're doing. If they're in a bad mood you might leave it for later.'

'If it's something bad I'll sort of figure out in my mind what to say. I'll sit there thinking and in the end I'll get up the nerve to go and tell them.'

'You've got to say how there's going to be all your friends there and how you've got a ride home and you've got to say all that first because otherwise they'll just say no.'

'I talk to my parents with some respect.'

'You should give her a reason. 'Mum I want to talk to you about something because it's affecting my schoolwork' or some stuff, because you're explaining to her why. I think it's best if you can give something that's bothering you.'

'Mum usually comes in every night and says goodnight and if I've got something on my mind I'll usually ask her then and she'll sit down and talk to me.'

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