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Thinking about sex

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Chances are you'll be thinking a lot more about sex these days.

Sometimes it seems like everyone's having sex - you just have to turn on the TV to get that impression. But lots of people aren't having sex.

Don't pressure yourself - take your time, think about whether you really feel ready, and whether this is the right person. A lot of people say they wish they had waited till they were older. Some people say it's better with someone you know well than with someone you don't really know at all. Getting to know each other better might also make it easier to talk about safer sex and make decisions about protecting yourselves before you have sexual intercourse.

Some people have sex to feel like they're part of the crowd, or to feel more mature. Some people have sex because of pressure from someone else. But any sexual experience should only happen if you want it to, and if you feel okay about it.



Do You Feel Ready?

If you're going to have sex, make sure it's your choice. Ask yourself a few simple questions.


Do you care about or feel comfortable with the person you're planning to have sex with?


If you felt uncomfortable and wanted them to stop, would they?


Do you have protection to prevent unplanned pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections,(e.g.) condoms and lube, and do you know how to use it?

Are you prepared for how your friends and family might react?



Having Sex

Having sex is a lot more complicated than it seems. You've probably heard heaps of stories about people having sex, and people are always happy to give you advice based on their experience. Once you've decided to have sex, the most important thing to know is that you don't have to go through with it. There's no contract when it comes to sex, and no one ever died from not having it - if it doesn't feel right at any time, you can say 'no'. Don't be pressured into anything that makes you feel bad.




It seems that everyone has a label for you when you're this age. If you don't have sex you're called anything from a virgin to tight, and if you do have sex, you can be anything from a stud (if you're a guy) to a slut or a skank. There are labels for every kind of person, usually made up by sad people. Try not to let labels hurt your feelings - they don't mean anything.